"Best Worst Idea?" Bachelor Party Recap

Before we left, Mrs. Mojo made me promise that Mojo and I would make it home alive.  I met her halfway, and promised her that at least one of us would make it home alive (I didn't specify which).  Mojo had to leave on Satuday, and given the traffic he was reporting from the road and three days of drinking catching up with the rest of us, it was starting to look like I might have to break my promise.


Luckily, we and the rest of the crew made it home alive and well and physically in one piece.  However, if this guy had been in the Tampa Airport on Sunday morning, more than one of us would have been taken away, though dead a happy man.  Most importantly, the Dawg told us the next day he had a better time than he could have imagined.

Maybe it's my continuing punch-drunkedness still going on (I'm writing this on Monday night while attempting to stay up for what should be a classic NCAA tournament final... and I just made like five spelling errors in the last session... there's six), but aside from the hi-jinx, I got a little nostalgic post-trip...

It all started when I said good-bye to a few of the guys at the airport.  I was the only one going out my airline at the time.  I was sitting at the gate, half alive, and as stoked as I was about the weekend, I was also kind of sad it was over.  Then, Monday morning, I texted Beavis to find out how much alcohol we left as a gift to the next renter (you're welcome, whoever you are, and you have no excuses for not having an epic weekend with that stockpile), he responded, "I don't know, I was too hungover to care.  I'm sad it's over."

What the wives were thinking a paragraph ago

The build up to the party was great.  The party was even greater.  There was one guy there we didn't grow up with, and if you had been hanging out with us all weekend, you would have never been able to guess who he was.  Mojo and I alluded to this briefly in the past, but I can't imagine ever finding a group of friends this loyal and true.  I have been blessed to find a group of people like that in my "East Coast life," if you will.  And not to speak for Mojo here, but given how I've heard him speak about the many friends he has met since leaving Detroit, I think he has had a similar experience.  I don't think this is a coincidence.  We learned from our friends back home what true friendship is, and we've found it in the various places we've lived since.  There's a reason all my friends here and from the D get along famously whenever they come out to visit.  Hell, there were four of us there who had known each other since 1st grade, and two friends of mine and I have known each other since freaking kindergarten.  No matter how much time passes in between all of us seeing each other, even for those who live close, it's like we all hung out yesterday.

See your future, be your future

I know the Dawg thanked us, but it was an honor to be there for this.  We had a blast planning it, and I am sad that that part of it is over.  Beavis was texting weather updates the week or two before, and now he's gonna text the weather for the weekend of the wedding.  Our way to mourn, I guess.  Well, that and we are already figuring out how we could to this again, with "two huge 14-bedroom houses next to each other on the beach in the Outer Banks, including wives/girlfriends/kids" leading the way.

Speaking of which, on one last serious note, we have to give a special thanks to our wives.  With apologies if my math is off here... we collectively left 17 kids, 2 pregnant wives, 2 kids under 1 (including Mojo's one month old), and one wife who had to start the one month "leave the house" during the weekend because they were doing an addition, then returned back in less than perfect shape to be the husbands/fathers we typically are.  They did this without complaint and without stalker-like phone calls or texts to anyone.  You ladies are the best.  We promise at least one slow dance during the wedding in which we are not babbling incoherently, talking to the couple next to us, trying to touch you inappropriately for a wedding, or needing to hold us up so we don't fall down.

One of the guys who was following along from here texted me, "the live blog was awesome, best worst idea ever," referencing the idea to chronicle it all.  If I had the energy or wanted to miss out on some stuff, I probably could have written more.  Here are some more quick tidbits...

We even have to sleep outside

1.  Speaking of the wives, many of them predicted we wouldn't make it past 10 a.m.  Even Fah, who is in the midst of a weight loss program, told me a couple weeks prior he might not make it long, especially since he had had "maybe three beers all year."  I can proudly report that, for 3 consecutive nights, the earliest anyone went to bed was about 1:45 a.m., and there was always someone up until at least 430 a.m.  So take that, wives!!!  (So much for that thankful paragraph... back to the dog house... I wonder if the Dawg goes to the Dawg-house when he gets in trouble... God, the alcohol is never going to leave my system...)

2.  Speaking of Fah, he of all people made the brilliant decision to start eating salads during dinner on Friday night.  We all ended up getting salad bars, then made one during dinner at the house Saturday.  We even grilled veggies with our freaking amazing steaks Mojo hooked us up with Thursday night.  Who would have ever thought Fah would be the one to suggest salad?  Fah T... funny.

3.  The Dawg spent a lot of time Thursday trying to catch a fish.  He caught some minnows, a couple little crabs, and a shrimp with the net, but no dice with anything bigger.  Well, as luck would have it, he happened to leave the pole in the water Thursday night.  In the middle of the night, one of our friends went outside for some air, and noticed the bobber was down.  Lo and behold, a nice sized, and very exhausted fish was on the line.  Friend didn't get a pic, but at least the Dawg caught something.  As it turns out, leftover ribeye is more appealing to Gulf fish than is shrimp or a lurer.

4.  One of my friends is my parents' and some of our friends' dentist.  During a post-Tigers game drink at a local watering hole, my friend holds up his ringing phone... my parents house.  Apparently my dad did something to a tooth while we were away, and was calling for advice.  Can't make this up.

Good thought

5.  We had serious discussions about how we could potentially get one friend to get us saline bags, then have our other friend to hook them into us (despite some of our debacles, we are all actually very successful people in our daily lives, including having trained medical professionals).  We ultimately decided that, while legal, this would be a really bad idea and had a higher chance of landing one of us in a hospital than anything else we were up to all weekend.

6.  I literally just forgot what I was going to put for #6 while searching for the pic of the saline drip... it was clear in my head, and 10 seconds later, it's gone.  I've also been randomly dropping things all day... man, that weekend was awesome.

7.  While Totino's pizza rolls are a billion times better in the oven, when waiting for them to cook at 1:15 a.m., the microwave is the better option.

8.  I remembered it!!!  On Wednesday night, I told the wife I was gonna grab a quick shower.  She goes, "you're last one for four days?"  Almost... I didn't end up showering until Saturday morning.  I was gonna shower Friday night after the Tigers game and before going out, especially since it was so hot.  But we ended up going out right from the game, all of us just dealing with being a little funky.  In my defense, I cooled down at the game by switching from beer to mixed drinks (side note - I was gonna go daiquiri, and one of my boys said he would back me... a quick survey of the rest, however, found I avoided ridicule that may have lasted the rest of the weekend... like any time I ordered a drink.  Quite frankly, I would have made fun of me, too).  

9.  Cool quote from the overhead flight attendant when we landed back in Philly, "have a great day, and don't be kind to someone, be kind to everyone."  I'm definitely stealing that.

I swear to you on my children's lives, I did not make up that I forgot #6 like that.  Hopefully my brain works better tomorrow.  I wisely did not schedule anything important today.  Fah won the award for Best Back to Work plan... he doesn't have to go back until Thursday.  This has taken like twice as long to type due to the spelling errors.  I gotta get out.  Mojo's taking over, here's his recap of the weekend, written while holding his one-month old.  How does he do this s**t?

As I sit here and think of the theme it would be brothers, beers, and brides.

I love how these weekends start with a whole round of bear hugs and end with a whole other round of ear hugs.  We have really have taken to these bachelor parties.  And, yes, how do you say no but we really care to take the time to see these guys find girls they love that really have been our friends, too. It was funny to hear our friends say they can't get people together for dinner for a night in Michigan, but can get 12 people to go to Florida for a bachelor party.  It just goes to show that life is very busy but on the really important things, like a wedding, we stop and get together.

In terms of silly, I love the mornings (LB Note - I told him the general idea of the post was "silly and sentimental, hence the "silly" reference there).  They're like the morning news of, "hey, let me tell you what happened last night since I know you don't remember :-) (LB Note - his emoji, not mine).  That always leads to whole round of laughter, not making fun of people, because were in that mix too, but just laughing at one another and not judging each other.

Almost every time I go to these things I literally have a bellyache from the number of laughing I do. But humor is the perfect scapegoat from all the tough things that we have to face as employees, dads, citizens. It helps us remind us at our core we truly are intended to enjoy one another.

However, by the end of it,  I always realize two things. I've had a closer and larger group of friends than anyone I know. And also, if I ever truly needed, they will be at my back. When I got up that Saturday morning and it was my birthday it's absolutely just tickled me that my friend got up and said, "Hey man it's your birthday! I got to make you breakfast, you want some eggs?"  They damn near might've been the best eggs I've ever had.  

LB Note - Mojo gave him credit for that cool act by name, but we do attempt to provide anonymity here.  In this case, I think he knows who he is, and quite frankly, never in a million years would he look for "credit" for doing that.  Take them to the bridge...

I don't know when you'll hear from us again, but you will.  I promise.  Meanwhile, follow us on Twitter and enjoy the spring.  I like the new "send them off with a song" bit, so here's today's selection, brought to you by my favorite band of all time.  Hasta.