Unbreakable Records

Truly unbreakable

The city of Philly-delphia recently celebrated the anniversary of Wilt Chamberlain's scoring 100 points in a single game, which is widely considered one of the most unbreakable records in sports.  More impressive is the 20,000+ women he allegedly bagged during his life (we'll get to that later).  So I'm sure you're now asking yourself the question, what are the most unbreakable records in sports?  Yeah, I got the answer for ya.  Let's do this.

No order

First, the honorable mentions, in the cliched no particular order...

- Yankees 27 World Series titles.  I'm really just saying this because Yankees fans are going to bitch about where I put DiMaggio.  That, and it's pretty damn impressive.  Breakable, but barely.  I just threw up in my mouth a little.

- Jerry Rice 208 career touchdowns scored (non-QB).  Average 15 TD a year for about 14 years, and you can break it.  Good luck!

- Wayne Gretzky 2857 career points, 894 goals, and 1963 career points.  120 points/year for 24 years.  Granted, hockey players can play a long time, but ages 18-42?  Right...

- Montreal Canadiens 5 consecutive Stanley Cups.  Too many teams, too much paridy.  By the way, did you know no team has ever won more than 2 consecutive Super Bowls?  Surprised by that one.

I'm sick of Googling, on to the winners..

6.  Joe DiMaggio's 56 game consecutive hit streak - Widely considered the most unbreakable records, mostly because the world is full of fraudulant Yankees fans we have to placate no one has even gotten over 40 since Pete Rose in 1978.  A few have gotten into the high 30s in the last ten years.  This goes 6th because A. I hate the Yankees, and B. this is just more logically possible than the next five.

5.  Orel Hershiser's 59 consecutive scoreless innings - That's almost 7 straight complete game shutouts.  Other than Roy Halladay, no one even gets close to 7 complete games in a YEAR.  You're telling me that's not harder than a 56 game hit streak? 

4.  Wilt Chamberlain's 100 points in a game - Kobe got 81 recently.  The only way I could see this happening is some 3OT game with a stupid amount of foul shots.  But, really, is that happening if someone goes for at least 75 in regulation?  More impressive Wilt record?  20,000+ chicks?  Holy s**t, Batman!  Doing the math...

Take a break, son...

Let's assume Wilt bagged more than one chick a day/night, perhaps even at the same time, many a time.  So 1.5 ladies/day.  Let's say he does that for 300 days a year (even God took a day off, remember?)  That makes 450 ladies/year.  To get to 20,000 ladies (he claimed more), without repeats (that's cheating), he would need to keep this up for about 45 1/2 years.  He died at age 60, and "died frail" according to Wikipedia.  So assuming he gave it up around age 58, he would have had to start this pace at age 12. 

Wishes Wilt was still alive

These leads us to a few possible conclusions.  Either he had wicked game at age 12 (possible), he shagged more like 2.5 chicks/day (not likely), or he was doing the nasty pretty much every day with more than one chick a day (awesome).  I have a friend who's head is spinning with mathematical possibilities and I'm sure is coming with with "facts" as we speak.  Since he's about to have a baby and his brain is gonna get fried, let's stop this now for the good of his daughter.  Seriously, though, isn't that freaking nuts?  No way that's true... right?

3.  UCLA 7 straight NCAA Basketball titles - Until the NBA adopts the NFL rule and makes kids stay in college a few years, this is impossible to break.  That screaching, whining sound you hear is Yankees fans still bitching DiMaggio is sixth.

2.  Oscar Robertson averages a triple double in 1961-62 - Not sure this qualifies as a record, but holy hell.  The stats:  30.8 points, 11.4 assists, and 12.5 rebounds PER GAME!!!  Only three guys have ever had more than 100 triple doubles in their career (Oscar, Magic, Kidd).  Wilt had 78, Bird had 59, and that's your Top 5.  Literally, figuratively, impossible to do again.  Even more impossible?  Drums please!

1.  Cy Young's 504 career wins - I truly believe that anything is possible.  Except anyone breaking this record.  Justin Verlander won the MVP and Cy Young award last year with 24 wins.  He would have to do that exactly 21 STRAIGHT YEARS TO TIE THE RECORD.  I have a better chance of going to the Moon before I die than seeing this record broken.  Really, it's inconceivable.  Hehehehe, that movie's awesome. 

Any excuse to post it, GO TIGERS!!!

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