Logical Betting

So many stories the last few weeks, so too lazy to write a lot about any of them.  Am I the only one who sorta gets annoyed by how fast these things go by?  I never have time to read about any of them, and I have the Twitters, the Facebooks, the smart phones... I also have the house, the kids, the jobs...

Asked the editors if I could do a six pack of stories linked with beers, and they were down really don’t care all that much what I write about.  I took that as a yes.  No more chit chat, and fuck that jump break, let’s do it.

1.  Victory Golden Monkey - The way too easy too drink, way high alcohol beer that I warn all new craft beer drinkers to never drink at the end of the night.  They and their hangovers never listen.  It recently broke that baseball was looking to suspend a group of players linked to a random steroid clinic in Miami, including Alex Rodriguez and Ryan Braun.  The media did its best to make this a big deal, then finally realized the fans didn’t care all that much because...

a.  We already knew they were both doping.  Braun never denied actually doping or what was in his blood sample.  He got off on a “mishandling” technicality.

b.  No casual fan knows that Braun is probably a Top 10 player because he plays for an average team in Milwaukee.

The moral of this story?  The MLB testing policy is both effective and a joke at the same time.  Like the Monkey, it can be effective (drink early) and a joke (to your friends when you’re done the next day), at the same time.

2.  LaBatt Blue in a can - Always reminds me of home.  And my home town Tigers.  Ever since we resigned Valverde, I have been ranting, tweeting, screaming to friends on the phone about why we did this, and why the hell we are STILL running him out there.  How about this simple proposal?  Pry Papelbon from the Phillies, offering increasingly better prospects, depending how much of his contract they are willing to pay, up to Castellanos for picking up nearly the whole thing.  Every fan is willing to do this for a shot at a title.  You can’t tell me that our front office is even remotely close to confident in bringing Valverde in during a 3-2 game in Game 7 of the ALCS.  Come on.  

Shit, the last time I was watching a game he came in, the Tigers broadcasters were basically trying to convince themselves and the fans it would be okay... “his numbers are good, his numbers have been good.”  He gave up two home runs and allowed the tying run to the plate in a NON SAVE SITUATION.  When he comes in, you need at least 7 beers to get through it.  That’s where the Blue in a can comes in.

3.  Yards Saison - My favorite style of my favorite Philly beer, their summer ale.  Perfect for watching what’s left of this Phillies run die on the field this summer.  The only people who are in denial are the Phils front office and a few die hard fans (don’t Google that last Reuben interview, Phils fans).  Their farm system is a mess.  Admit the fans it’s time to rebuild.  You can get MLB ready prospects for Cliff Lee (to the Rangers) and Papelpon (see above), and solid prospects for Jimmy Rollins.  It’s time to let it go, sit back in the sun, and sip a Saison.

4.  Miller High Life - You don’t go to the High Life often, but it’s always good, kinda funny, and comes in at just the right time.  I was flipping the channels the other day, and came across The Cable Guy.  Freaking hysterical.  Loved it when I first saw it, loved it then.  Happened to come in at the best part of the movie, when Jim Carrey does his rendition of Somebody to Love.  And since the High Life always works, we’re gonna make that clip work here.  Take it away, Jim.

5.  Founders Kentucky Breakfast Stout - Highly sought after, rarely brewed.  Peeps will be $25 bucks just for a bottle.  Rumor has it it will be released again this year.  Relatedly, the wife and I hit the U.S. Open last weekend, knocking “attend a major” off our sports bucket list.  It was seriously amazing.  We went on Saturday, so it was even cooler watching it Sunday having seen everything and knowing where it was.  Highlight of the day - We were perched at 2 tee, with views of 4 green and 5 tee.  Most of the golfers would walk from 2 tee, straight down the fairway through the tee box.  Phil Mickelson actually went out of his way about 20 yards to walk through the rough to come over and wave and acknowledge the fans.  Awesome.  We got within touching distance of the players.  Perfect weather.  Highly recommend you do this one day.

And for you golfers out there... the term “no margin for error” takes a whole new meaning when you see it in person.  If you miss that sliver of a fairway, you are completely screwed.  And that’s before you try and putt on greens that literally have a valley running through the middle, U shaped.  Crazy.

6.  Bells Oberon - Unless this is your first time reading the blog or tweets, then you probably know this is my all time favorite beer.  The cuz was cool enough to pick up a case and split it with me, and I’ll be toasting many of them in a week or so when we get back to the D.  This one is in honor of Father’s Day, just wanted to wish the father’s out there a belated Happy Father’s Day.  ARG was kind enough to greet me with a vomit fit Saturday into Sunday, but she recovered enough to be able to swim with Daddy later that day.  Being a father is the greatest thing I have ever done or will do, and I thank my father, grandfathers, and friends for helping me be the best one I can be.  And a very special thank you to the wife, not only for suffering through pregnancy and childbirth to get our babies here, but for being a great mother, making me a better father, and generally tolerating me on a daily basis.  Cheers!

Because we can...

The LB clan is gonna be on vacation quite a bit the next few weeks - hitting the D and the Shore, friends visiting, golf with J.B., ARG’s birthday/more friends visiting... in other words, we’re going on a bit of a hiatus.  We’ll keep up the tweets and all, so get your content there if you wish.  Enjoy your summers, everyone.  GO TIGERS!!!  Hasta.