You Know I Love You

Hi, all.  Yeah, it's been awhile.  A long while.  If you count Mother's Day as "having something that weekend," then our family "has/had something that weekend" every weekend starting back with the Dawg's bachelor party until the last weekend in July.  All good stuff, of course... three weddings, bachelor/bachelorette parties and the like.  Just makes for a lot of nights where we don't feel like posting.

Anyways, enough First World Problems.  We do have quite a few ideas we want to get to, but not gonna lie, Mojo and I enjoy the laziness of our summers.  However, some topics are just too important to delay and must be discussed immediately.  And what better time than one week before the Dawg gets married to address perhaps the most pressing topic in LB land...

Why My Son Should Date Mojo's Daughter - A Love Story

First, some background... my son is about 11 months older than Mojo's 2nd girl.  I have been texting him pictures of him with various captions justifying why he should be allowed to date her.  Typically its him eating some randomly gross combination of food he thinks is awesome, e.g., pancakes with ketchup or bacon PBJ (that one was actually good).  Others have included him in handsome clothes or crushing his first chicken wing (my personal fave).  And as much as he won't admit it, he likes the joke.  He just knows he will never live it down if they actually did go out.

Judge and Jury

However, on behalf of my son, who is innocent in all of this, allow me to state his case for dating Mojo's daughter, who we'll call S.

1.  S's future father-in-law, me, is no hypocrite.  I've already promised ARG to our friend's son.  He comes from a great family, close friends of ours.  The dowry was a case of beer at the wedding, then a case of beer a month for life.  I ask you, Mojo, is $30/month too expensive to ensure the safety and good care of your daughter for the rest of her life?  So ARG has two choices... our friend's son or the convent.  Either way, I'll be happy.  Which is what every father of a daughter really wants... her to marry a guy he can trust or absolute celibacy.

2.  No hypocrite, Part 2 - when Mojo asked me to be his son's godfather, I graciously accepted, questioned to make sure he and Mrs. Mojo really wanted me to be the one to guide him to God, then "promised to lead him to the Lord and Fah T's daughter."  He assured me his Godmother would make up for any lapses in my judgment... which may be possible, considering this group text exchange with me, Mojo, and Mrs. Mojo...

Me (after Michigan St. lost to Middle Tennessee State) - See, this is a sign God wants him to be a Michigan fan.
Mojo - Yes!!!
Mrs. Mojo - His Godmother is an MSU grad, I'm sure she'll have something to say about that.
Me - I'll be the one buying him beer, I'm not worried about it.

Oh, that's why...

(LB Note - I was going to send him a MTSU toddler tee while we were at the Dawg's bachelor party.  I had one picked out, and got Mojo approval.  We decided to wait til the last day to make sure he was home when it arrived.  Somehow we forgot to do that later in the weekend.  No idea why...)

3.  Notice I said "date" and not "marry."  During the same conversation about leading his son to Fah's daughter, Mojo said something about them marrying, and I was like, "whoa, not marry her.  We don't want him to make that mistake."  And yes, I said it right in front of the wife.  And yes, she smiled and laughed.  So it's not permanent, Mojo, they're just gonna test the waters... sorry, even I couldn't keep a straight face on that one.

Unite the clans!

4.  If they did happen to marry, we could unite the bloodlines and have uber-babies in our families!  While it's true that LB, Jr. and S are each half me and Mojo, the other half of them is our wives.  And if you've met us and our wives, and if you've seen us together, and if you've seen us together with one or both of our wives around... well, let's just say that LB, Jr. and S's kids would have more patience and discipline than the Dhali Lama.  Besides, think of how fun the wedding would be.  And we could invent the "future father-in-law" party, ala a bachelor party, and go back to that house in St. Pete Beach.

5.  No hypocite, Part 3... consider the following exchange from last week...

ARG - Daddy, they kissed on the lips because they got married (the kids were in a wedding a couple of weeks ago).  Kissing on the lips is ewwwww.
Me - Yes it is, it's very ewwwww.
ARG - How old do you have to be to kiss on the lips?
Me (no hesitation) - At least 22.
ARG - Okay.

Daddy 1, all you f***ers trying to date ARG, 0.

6.  Mojo had no idea I was posting this, but, being as I'm raising a perfect gentleman like myself, I felt like LB, Jr. should ask permission to date S.  So he crafted the following email to Mrs. Mojo:

Dear Miss Mojo,

My daddy wants to write a blog about why I should go on a date with Sydney before Mr. Dawg and Miss Dawg's wedding.  He's not going to tell Mr. Mojo about it.  Would you mine sharing your opinion about it if you have a minute?  I understand if not.

Please know I plan to ask your permission before I ask Sydney on any dates.  I hope you had a great Mother's Day.

Love,

LB, Jr.

I agree, it was too cute

I mean, how stinking cute is that!  And he told me word for word what he wanted to write.*  Clearly #4 above is shining through in this family.  Mrs. Mojo was so touched, she wrote back immediately with the following:

Well S's daddy will probably have the final say on this, but from mommy, I definitely would like our girls to socialize with our friends' wonderful sons😊 

I think we established at 16 was the dating age, so you'll have to wait until then for an official date, but you're welcome to court her under the watchful eye of her Daddy 😉 Hope this helps!

Love you little guy!

Miss Mojo

Chemistry

I mean, how can you deny the chemistry between future mother and son in law?  It's practically jumping off the page.  I think Mojo might be burning hotter than that Bunsen burner at this point... but I think I can cool him off here...

7.  As giving in to the wife is the key "happy wife, happy life" is the key** compromise is the key to any successful marriage, Mojo and I crafted a compromise on said group text with he, Mrs. Mojo, and I.  After I sent a pic of LB, Jr. vacuuming the house (yes, it was his idea, and yes, the vacuum was actually going), and assuring Mojo that he would keep a clean and comfortable home for he and S, and after Mojo said S was wondering why LB, Jr. may not come to see her for her brother's Christening (LB Note - I took this as a clue Mojo is giving in), we agreed to the following...

Me - How about this deal... once (Mojo's son) "goes out" with Fah's daughter, LB, Jr. can date S.

Mojo (no hesitation) - Deal

One of our loves

D-town peeps, the wife and I are on our way, cannot wait to see you all next week!   A HUGE early congrats to the Dawg and soon-to-be Mrs. Dawg, we could not be more happy for you guys.  Hopefully by the time I see Mojo, he'll be giggling about this post.  If not, I'll just ply him with more booze and we'll be good.  So we have the perfect plan, provided Fah, his parents, his sister, and his wife never read this post.  We can just pretend they aren't five of our most regular readers.  I wonder if Fah will have something to say about this... Anyways, Stone Temple Pilots will send you off now.  Great song, funny joke.  Something tells me I'm picking up Mojo's tab next Thursday after that send off choice.  I should just shut up now.  Hasta.

* If he had been awake when I wrote the email

** Marriage advice for the Dawg, courtesy of the LB staff