MVPs of the House

I was so exhausted from working hard on this blog I've been a little lax in getting new material up, had a few ideas and didn't like any of them enough.  Then loyal reader C.E.B. posted the following on the Facebook, "Finally got a new refrigerator after a week living with just a dorm room fridge.  I'm declaring the refrigerator the MVP of appliances."

Inspiration.

I'm sure after reading that you found yourself wondering, what would the MVP of each room of my house be?  If you didn't, shame on you, well, you probably don't write a mildly popular sports blog.

Let's do this.








Kitchen - Start where we started.  Or something like that.  Gave some consideration to the microwave here (convenience, instance cooking), but really, you can't use it if you have nothing to cook.  Think of it this way... my buddy has a family of 5.  Gotta assume that grocery bill pushes $200/week.  Even if he didn't just go to the store, gotta figure you lose at least $300 in groceries between frozen foods and condiments.  Cash is king, yo.
Bedroom - Theeeere's!  Nothing wrong, with me... Just checking to see if you're clicking my links.  I'm looking at you, Kumnutz/inspiration for next post.  Anyways, you might want to go bed here, but that's composed of multiple parts, so you gotta break that down to mattress v. box spring (no contest).  The dresser and closet provide organization.  Sleep.  Sex.  Two of the greatest things in the world.  Take place (usually) on the mattress.


I swear to God, actual post on Craigslist for "couch"

Family/Living Room - Getting into some more difficult choices now.  First thought was TV, then I went remote, but that obviously loses out when you have nothing to turn on.  Runner up goes to the recliner, which I had in 1st in the initial writing.  Then I wrote the last four sentences above, and realized I could swap in couch for mattress.  It's too easy to get television shows and movies online now, and you can always read my blog please!!! mess with your tablet, sleep, or have more sex on your couch.

Dining Room - Our dining room is converted to a play room, and probably will be a den one day, so I'm no expert here.  I don't really have an opinion, but just want to ask... why do people have those huge china hutches?  Does anyone care what other people's fine china that they take out once a year never use looks like?  Just asking.

Children's Room/Playroom - Lots of good candidates here... crib (keep 'em contained), changing table (keep 'em clean), the "favorite toy de jour" (keep 'em happy).  However, I'm going with the item I wish I had in my house before the kid... the baby wipe.  These things can literally get stain and crap (literally) out of anything, wipe hands, runny noses, and big nasty... you know what I mean.  And... I know you adults still use them.  Yeah, you, don't lie.

Bathroom - Went to the wife for her take first, after giggling for awhile, she goes, "it has to be the toilet, it can't be anything else."  Actually, I think you could argue the toilet is the MVP of the entire house.  We'll get back to that.  I agree for many, many reasons.  And because I have to live with her.  You know what I mean?

Typically second to none

Garage - Car doesn't count.  In my garage, we have these huge storage shelves that pretty much save our storage bacon.  More importantly, my beer fridge is out there.  For you married men out there, where do you rank your beer fridge/recepticle that holds your drink of choice in "overall house MVPs"?  Exactly.

Closet - Maybe not technically a room, but eh.  You're first thought had to be hanger, and it was mine.  Then I remembered all the air freshners and the like that keep clothes smelling fresh and keep lazy people like me from having to iron a million times.  But how can you forget the grandfather of the air freshener... the mothball!  Not only do they keep the moths and stank away, but according to Wikipedia (sorry, Mojo), "mothballs have been used as a stovepipe cleaner, snake repellent, and to keep away mice or other pests.  Mothballs have also been used by some campers to keep bears away from their food or even their entire campsite.  Mothballs are also used to kill snakes."  Freaking.  Awesome.  Where can I get some of these? 

Laundry Room - Washer v. Dryer.  Brother v. Brother.  Ketchup v. Mustard.  Except this time, there's no BBQ sauce to come with the last second peace treaty.  Remember in college when you had to pay to do your laundry, and it always took two loads to get your clothes dry?  Remember in Logical Betting, where if you need to know the answer, just follow the money?  Cash is king, yo.  Dryer by a nose.

MVP of the House - Yes, you have to sleep to survive, but you can do that on the floor.  Yes, you have to eat to live, but you can always get take out.  Yes, you have to drink to cope, but you can go to the bar.  But, especially for you ladies, where else in the world can you relieve yourself?  And guys, do we really want to spend our days peeing behind trees?  It's fun at the tailgates and whatnot... I don't know about you, but I don't think I could live knowing my fate was being decided by one of those "no public restrooms" signs.  And if you don't believe me, how can you not believe how happy this guy is?

MVP!  MVP!  MVP!

Contact Logical Betting at logicalbetting@gmail.com and twitter.com/logicalbetting where we recently tweeted the shocking news that Kentucky basketball is being investigated surrounding a current recruit.  We'll be stealing inspired by another posting on the Facebook next time, so keep the ideas, both intentional and unintentional, coming in.  Thanks again to my buddy out in our sister-hometown in Minnesota.  See ya at Comerica, pal.