Teammates

Good morrow!  Mojo recently turned me on to the most recent brilliant writing from Mr. Sebastian Junger, Tribe, in which he addresses, among a myriad of topics, the challenges in helping combat veterans assimilate back into their communities and the effects of a society seemingly growing more and more isolated from one another.  We will address the latter here, because Mr. Junger himself handles the former in a podcast he did with Team RWB.  Brilliant discussion, which Mojo correctly warned me, "make sure you pay attention and not have it as background noise.  Oh, and you're probably going to want to listen at least twice."

Just kidding, we love you too!  Especially your chocolate!

This is not, nor will ever be, a blog that tackles controversial topics.  We have no intention to preach or come of as high and mighty here.  We firmly believe that everyone has the right to live their lives as they choose.  We do, however, choose to live our lives in a certain way, some of which we touched on in our 2015 New Year's Post (One of those principles?  Littering the blog with shameless self promotion).  I know I tend to overthink these things, since I've run blog ideas past many people who seem surprised when I ask if they think a certain topic/line will come off as offensive to our readers.  Before you read on, just remember that Mojo and I's thoughts towards others are perfectly summed up by Austin Powers' father in Austin Powers 3...

Mojo and I have embarked on careers that have allowed us to meet a lot of different people from a wide variety of cultures and upbringings.  I'm not going to speak for him, but for me, I have found this experience both fascinating and humbling.  Some of the most interesting moments in my career have been in conversations with people from a culture or value system I literally know nothing about.  These conversations, necessarily, have come from a place of mutual goals, respect, and, most importantly, in face to face interactions over a period of time.

More love for the  Dutch.
So much better than plain!

I don't think it's too controversial to say our society is growing ever wary of one another.  It seems there is a genuine and, I hope I'm wrong here, growing distrust for our neighbors and communities.  People passing judgment on others, leading to, at best, apathy, and at worst, anger and hate.  Personally, I don't have time for it.  It typically pisses me off.  Which is also why I don't watch the news, reality TV, and any other entity where I feel like there is incentive for shock value.

The ramifications of this are devastating.  Increases in isolation yield to depression, anxiety, hopelessness, lack of motivation, lack of any supports to help one get ahead in life... basically what I get paid to treat (it just occurred to me this post could be bad for business...).  The last one is highly underrated and under the radar.  I think all of us who have had any success in life have had someone who pushed them along, helped them along.  We are quick to blame the individual for their downfalls, but are often unwilling to examine the factors we may have exasperated that have contributed to said downfalls.  We blame others for not taking responsibility when we fail to take responsibility ourselves, both as individuals and, most importantly, our communities.

Ear infection saving friends

Technology is great, and I love it.  But it takes more effort now to build the types of communities that make our country great.  Not just "action efforts," e.g., meeting your neighbors, sharing cell phone numbers, e.g., the kind of things that make having a kid with an ear infection late on a Sunday night after a weekend long blizzard much less insane than it could have been and lead to a summertime of friends by the pool.  I'm talking about the type of introspective efforts to look beyond stereotypes and look at the person, the people, and realize that all of us at one point were a 4 year old kid who just wanted to play outside, be around their friends and family, and grow up to be a teacher, a doctor, a police officer, a princess, or Batman.

Mojo and I were lucky.  We were raised in good homes, with good parents and good communities.  Again, not to speak for him, but I realize every day how few of us are blessed with that.  It's only through contact with others do we truly get to know one another and begin to build the relationships that fulfill our lives and our communities.  Everyone has a story.  Let's stop making assumptions about those stories.  Besides, when we assume, we make an a** out of you and me.

Mojo is by far the better Catholic of the two of us; however, for some reason, Bible quotes have been finding their way into my life, strangely, through the most random of TV shows (Criminal Minds, e.g.).  I think he likes when I email them to him so he knows he didn't make a mistake in Godfather's for his son.  Anyways, here are three recent quotes I will allow to speak for themselves:

John 13:34 - "A new command I give you:  Love one another.  As I have loved you, so you must love one another."

Philipians 2:3 - "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or empty pride, but in humility consider others more important than yourselves."

James 2:17 - "So too, faith by itself, if it is not complemented by action, is dead."

Look, its Mojo!

I had a chance to show Mojo everything above before publishing, and we discussed it at length during a walk with the best godson ever.  Here are a few other thoughts that came out of that talk, based on Mojo's thoughts on the topic.

- Communities are built through interactions.  One could argue there is an "online community," but that community doesn't take your kid when the other has an ear infection or get your kid off the bus when you have to work late.  Mojo used the example of having to go inside the store to pay for gas as interactions that don't exist anymore (unless you live here in NJ, where full serve is required).  We agreed that this is being lost, and generally leads to... wait for it...

- Lack of trust in one another.  We don't know our neighbors as well as we used to, and are becoming downright paranoid of them.  We used to play outside til it was dark, then even longer after that, playing Ghosts in the Graveyard.  I never see kids out past dark in our neighborhood.  He took it another step, noting how anyone who wants to gripe can now hide behind an online handle and say whatever they want without repercussion.  Before, you had to go to a town hall meeting or write to the editor of the newspaper with your actual name on it (seriously, millennials, it's true.  Google it).   Instead of potential consequences for being a d**k, you now get rewarded for it with "likes" and "shares" and comments of support.

- We pondered what will happen when the Internet generations eventually become CEOs of companies.  How will this change the way we do business, build collaborations, etc., especially if you agree with us that trust is built primarily through face to face interactions.  We agreed that eventually it will change, but maybe not so much, since people will have to get these jobs from a different generation that prefers face to face interactions and that one will have to be able to interview in person well to get the job.

- A final example from the world of sports, since this is in part a sports blog... when I tell people I went to Michigan, I will often get, "oh, so you must really hate Michigan State/Notre Dame fans!"  My always response, "some of my best friends in the world are Michigan State grads, so nope, I don't."  I know it seems trivial, but keep in mind people have literally assaulted and even killed one another over sports rivalries.  Maybe sports is where we finally start to realize, as we often say here, we are all on the same team.  That is one of many reasons we always end our posts with this...

I would like to say, for the record, I think Michigan is overrated this year and will not make the playoffs.  I also have a nightmare scenario in my head where they are undefeated going into the Ohio State game and lose to a 9-2 OSU team.  I told Mojo I would probably just vomit that entire game if that's the case going in.  Rumor has it Beavis is finally working on a blog for us.  Hang on to your hats.  What does that even mean, hang on to your hats?  Anyways, my fave band of all time, the White Stripes, will send us out.  Hasta.