NHL Resolutions, update

I was watching the Red Wings/Columbus game the other night on Versus, who is now unknowingly sponsoring this post since they're the first brand I mentioned. It was low scoring (Wings lost 1-0 in OT), but this was some good hockey. Lots of chances, some scrapping, a fight, some open play... all the things that make the NHL great. And while I was really getting into the game, a part of me felt like I was mourning the loss of a great sport. Almost like watching old home movies of when your kid was really young, or a loved one who's moved on to the next life.

I really do miss the league, I wish it were easier to follow. I got to thinking about even more changes they could make, if they got desperate enough. So rather than do a whole post to mourn the NHL, I have a few more ideas to throw out there. These are admittedly A LOT more drastic (those may have been caps, but I'm writing this with a cold Labatt next to me, so that may be the last time today) and, with minor exceptions, wouldn't happen in the real world. But for the sake of the rest of you who love hockey, let's kick around a few more ideas. And I hope you're sitting down for this shock of all shocks, but they're gonna be in list form. I know, I know, you're more surprised then when you found out about Tiger. I like to keep things fresh and different, ya know? By the way, and this really was totally unintentional, and I promise to get to the list after this, but I'm drinking my Labatt out of my Balashi glass, and Balashi happens to be the only beer brewed in Aruba. You can't make this stuff up. Okay, moving on...

1. TV - Forgot to mention the first time around, but definitely gotta keep that contract with Versus to keep any sort of exposure you can. They should drop a game in front of the WEC when it's on, which they could do immediately, but that's way too simple for Bettman and doesn't fall into his subconscious plan to destroy the sport. The little known fact about hockey is it's one of the coolest, if not the coolest, sport to watch live. You can see all the action developing, anticipate hits, see how they're moving the puck, and the game is so fast live, it's awesome. Unfortunately, the best known fact about hockey is that it translates horribly to TV. Anyone remember the disaster that was the glow puck on Fox? That little blue light they used to try and help you follow the puck? For you hockey fans, it was "that f***ing blue light!" and for you non-hockey fans it was "why is there a blue thing moving on the ice?" Anyways, technology has got to find a way to make this sport watchable to the casual fan, so take some of that saved cash by contracting teams and invest in technology. Maybe even before firing Bettman... nahhh, not that drunk. Yet.

2. Fighting - Die hards love the fights and miss them. No one ever really got seriously hurt from this. When J.B. is in charge, he's going to subtly let the players know that those fines and suspensions for increased fighting are going to be "investigated on appeal" for awhile, then forgotten. After that happens, subtly encourage ESPN to air the best ones. Raise your hands if you think more fights would be cool. See what I mean? Okay, you can put your hands down now. You, too, J.B.

3. One piece sticks - Players shoot. Stick breaks. Puck goes nowhere. I don't really have anything else to say about that. Get rid of them.

4. Contract and realign, part 2 - In my last post, I made an argument for going down to 24 teams, with the Islanders moving to Hamilton, though I recently read they may move to Brooklyn with the NJ Nets, but I still don't think that saves them. Under that scenario, L.A., Anaheim, San Jose, and Buffalo survived, and I had 8 teams based in Canada. Let's get a little bit crazier, shall we? In addition to the 6 teams I named before, let's contract L.A., Anaheim, San Jose, and Minnesota's Wild franchise; move Dallas back to Minnesota, bringing back the Minnesota North Stars; and move any 2 of Buffalo, New Jersey, or Colorado to Quebec and Toronto, which gives you 10 teams in the U.S. and 10 in Canada (yes, I realize that Colorado used to be Quebec and how dumb it may sound to move them back. Just humor me, it could work. Nothing else is for this league. That was for J.B., sorry to the rest of you, but I'm saving him calling me about that one); Split the conferences into U.S. and Canadian conferences; Go down to 12 playoff teams, 6 per conference, with the top 2 teams in each conference getting first round byes. U.S. vs. Canada for the Stanley Cup.

Now in reality, this would be seen as beyond drastic (which it is), the media would eat the NHL alive (probably deservedly so, but also cause the media just does that sort of thing), and it would be the death of the NHL as we know it. It would also offer a really unique opportunity to rebrand the sport, hope to increase revenues enough to make people and advertisers want to invest, then try to expand back into what we used to know back in the 80s-early 2000s. People would probably pay attention at least for a little while, which would give the NHL a one-time shot at having the limelight and showing the world how great this sport is.

The more I keep writing, the more this feels like a pre-eulogy to me. Someone tell me this sport isn't dead or dying. It scares me that I watch Sportscenter every day, and never see anything significant on the NHL. I mean, how does that happen? How did this sport go from a Fox/ESPN contract to weekday nights on Versus? And, for the love of all things sacred, how in the world does the person who was in charge of this collapse still have a job? Any one of the rest of us would be fired at our jobs. Bettman's bosses, the owners, love him. We, the fans, hate him. Who wins out in the end on this one? I hope it doesn't take contraction and U.S. vs. Canada to find out. Until then, I'm going to finish off this last beer in memory of the NHL we all knew and loved.

Then again, the Red Wings have won a lot of Cups in recent years... hmmm... maybe this isn't so bad after all. But no league = no Cups = no making fun of the wife and J.B.'s Flyers. I'll take the NHL however I can get it. But if things don't change pretty soon, this post is going to go from a "what they could do" to "what they should have done to save the league." If that day comes, I know a lot of people who will be drinking to the memory of the NHL, and there won't be enough beer in Canada to drown the sorrows of that country.