Tiger is now off the "I'm shocked" list

If you had asked me two weeks ago to create a list of athletes who would shock me if they cheated on their wives, Tiger would have been in my Top 5. Apparently, I was alone since most people I know said they weren't surprised at all. However, after the initial disappointment, I got around to thinking, who in sports would shock you if they came out with a similar scandal? I've been polling and talking to lots of friends about this, and here is a compilation of our thoughts. Enjoy!

The wife and my initial list included Derek Jeter and Peyton Manning (me), Brett Favre (wife), and Kurt Warner (both). We then decided that given Warner's strong Christian faith, he needed an asterisk and his own category. Tim Tebow and Tony Dungy have since joined that category. Dungy is too old to really count, but he's in just so we have an example. I later came up with Phil Mickelson. A friend of mine suggested Joe Mauer, and another suggested Craig Biggio. Allow me to share my research, i.e., stuff my friends know and can prove.

According to a friend's brother-in-law (a reputable source), Mickelson was known to cheat on his wife early in his career and pre-breast cancer. I also since read an article that golfers are second to the NBA in groupies, so they're pretty much out, as is the entire NBA. I think if you don't cheat in the NBA, you get hazed in the locker room. Plus, there are so many groupies that even if you wanted to stay loyal, I don't think you can, they won't let you.

Anyways, a family friend who is a huge Packers fan said that during Favre's pain killer days, he was known to cheat around, and there are even rumors he has a son by another woman. Out. A good friend of ours has personally witnessed Peyton Manning cheating on his wife down the Jersey shore, in the same house, by the way, that his brother was hooking up with some chick. That's good work by them. Out and out. A few others pointed out Jeter supposedly has a reputation as a ladies man in NYC. Peace and out for him, though he's on my list of people I really hope does come out as an a-hole. Craig Biggio is a good one, but I think he's more local to Houston fans, one of which suggested him. I would compare that to Chase Utley out here in Philly. Shocking locally, but not on the Tiger Woods type scale.

NHL players were suggested (Mario Lemeuix and Stevie Y), but then someone noted it's more of a "niche league," and therefore was eliminated ala the NBA. Also, a female friend of mine pointed out she really wouldn't want to have sex with anyone in the NHL, since they seem dirty and a lot of them have nasty mustaches.

If baseball were more popular, i.e., still America's past time, I think Albert Pujols would win this discussion. He is a dedicated family man, does more work than you can imagine for youth with Downs's Syndrome, and is as close to the Kurt Warner asterisk as you can get without getting it. The wife insists he used steroids, and we will be Google-imaging that as soon as I'm done so I can prove her wrong. Other than Jeter, no other baseball players really come to mind. A-Roid is obviously out (yes, I know how I spelled that). David Ortiz? Manny? I'm not shocked by those.

Therefore, we need an NFL guy. Most popular teams are the Cowboys and Steelers, then probably the New York teams. Romo? Are you kidding me, he's with a different chick every five seconds. Rothlesberger is in the middle of a law suit with some chick, so he's out. We already addressed Eli, and Mark Sanchez, well, first he went to USC, second, he isn't really that good. Out. Tom Brady got out just in the nick of time, or he would have technically cheated, but he now has the wife and the baby mama. No way he qualifies.


However, courtesy of a buddy of mine, I think we have it: Jerome Bettis. The sad thing is, I don't think I would be THAT shocked. And that says more about this discussion than anything. Yes, athletes are people, too. But how sad is it that after a week of talking about this, we can't come up with a single star athlete in any sport that would truly shock us if they cheated. Then again, if they keep breeding, the next sports legend can't be more than a generation away.