Most Ridiculous Bowl Games, '010

IT…IS…TIME!!! For the first second annual posting here at Logical Betting, the 2nd Annual Most Ridiculous Bowl games of the college season. As you may recall, but probably don’t, last season was highlighted by several bowl sponsors who had been bailed out by the government. Good for the NCAA for cleaning those guys out, but let me tell you, we got some doosies in their place. So without further adieu, bring on this year’s candidates for Most Ridiculous Bowl game of the college season. We are brought to you unofficially by Fisher Price, makers of the swing that is keeping Arg quiet while I start this post.

Sorry, I can’t help it, I need more adieu before I list… one of the primary reasons the NCAA claims they keep the current system is to maintain the integrity of the bowl system, which we all know is crap. But can I just point out a couple things, a list within the list, if you will:

1. There are 35 bowls being played this year, meaning 70 teams, including many undeserving teams like my Wolverines, Fah’s Irish, and Mojo’s Black Knights, will be represented in the bowl system. At the current rate of bowl expansion, it won’t be long before we have losing teams getting into bowl games.

2. Of the 35 bowls being played, fully 16 of them are named solely after their sponsor and/or the location they are being played, e.g., the Texas Bowl and the Meinike Car Care bowl (LB Note: I will not be editing sponsor names out of principle, I hope I misspelled the name of Meinike). That, my dear friends, is 46% OF ALL BOWLS. Reeeeeeeeal classy, NCAA.

3. I, as I’m sure many of you do, have fond memories of spending New Year’s Day with my family eating snacks made (guilted into) by my mom, and watching the big games all day. This year, only 6 of the games will be played on New Year’s Day, including everyone’s favorite Ticketcity Bowl. Only two of the BCS bowls, the Rose and the Fiesta, will be played that day, rather than the traditional “all of them.” The others will be played on Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday of the following week (when no one is watching because, you know, those aren’t holidays), and the BCS title game will be played on January 10th, 9 FREAKING DAYS AFTER NEW YEARS DAY!!!

4. The Cotton Bowl, another traditional New Year’s Day game, has been moved to Friday, January 7th. This is not a BCS bowl. I have no explanation for this, but just thought I’d point it out. Because if we didn’t play it then, we’d lose the integrity of the Cotton Bowl. Oh, forgot to mention, it’s been around since 1937, so naturally we want to maintain this history by putting it on a day when ever fewer people are watching. Oh, and also forgot to mention, the Ticketcity.com Bowl is also being played in the Cotton Bowl stadium. Integrity, I tells ya.

Okay, I can’t do this anymore. Screw you, Cal, why couldn’t you just finish off Oregon? And screw you, too, Alabama, how can you blow a 20 point lead at home to your arch rival? Ugh…

Before we start, let’s give a nod to those bowls from last year who missed this year’s list. The International Bowl (now extinct); Insight Bowl (moved itself off the NFL Network, just missed this year); Eagle Bank Bowl/GMAC Bowl, both extinct. I’m sure you remember that the GMAC Bowl, which was #1 on this list last year, pitted a classic matchup between Central Michigan and Troy, played on January 6th in Mobile, Alabama. It ended with a 44-41 CMU win in double OT. Don’t worry, though, the GMAC Bowl lives on now as the GoDaddy.com Bowl… God bless the GMAC Bowl, soul. But will the tradition carry on, and can the GoDaddy.com Bowl snag the top spot??? Let’s find out!

5a. Military Bowl, presented by Northrup Grumman – East Carolina vs. Maryland – Just a quick nod to our first runner-up for making the list. Sold short because Maryland plays in the area, but the “presented by” thing is awesome, and the fact that the “Military Bowl” doesn’t have a military school in it when there are two military schools playing in bowls is just classic. Had to point that out. It’s in DC, which sucks cause Mojo and I may have been making that roadie if Army were in the game. Oh well. Okay, on to the Top 5.

5. Ticketcity.com Bowl – Northwestern vs. Texas Tech – This be the game being played in the Cotton Bowl on New Year’s Day that isn’t the Cotton Bowl. How are these teams playing on New Year’s Day? It’s worse than Michigan playing on New Year’s Day, to be honest. I had to Google Ticketcity.com, which is a website for you to go buy tickets to NCAA events, among other things. So we don’t promote gambling or paying athletes for sports or finding out who the best team in the country is by playing it out on the field, but we do promote legal scalping. Also has the classic “bowl named only for the sponsor” hook going for it. Scalping and selling out, two virutes touted by the NCAA here. At least it’s two major conference teams, even if they’re terrible ones. Over/under on 12pm viewership of this game: 2.5. People.

4. Beef O’Brady’s St. Petersburg Bowl – Southern Mississippi vs. Louisville – Two former Conference USA rivals collide in this intriguing… right. Google tells us Beef O’Brady’s is a chain restaurant in the South, which bodes well for them, providing there’s a Beef O’Brady’s near where the players mothers live, since they’ll be the ones watching. This game takes place on Tuesday, December 21st, the traditional day for families to go into separate rooms, wrap presents, and flip through channels while muttering, “what the hell is Beef O’Brady’s” as they find reruns of the Real Housewives of Atlanta. These teams have a combined 14-10 record, including Louisville’s 3-5 record in the Big East, the hotbed of college football. Solid resume, but not enough to win this conference if you have a “BCS” conference team playing. Sorry, BOBSPB, maybe next year.

3. BBVA Compass Bowl – Kentucky vs. Pittsburgh – There is nothing I look forward to more than throwing this game on the Saturday after New Year’s and watching two teams with a combined 13-11 record (Kentucky 6-6 with a 2-6 conference record, mind you) and taking down Christmas decorations while the snow gently falls outside. It just reminds me of New Year’s Resolutions (especially sports resolutions posted by Logical Betting… shameless plug of future post! We’re back!) and the gray skies of Michigan. Pros – named solely after a sponsor who does no business in Pennsylvania and little in Kentucky, played in place none of their fans will travel (Mobile, Alabama) on a day no one is watching (January 8th… wow), and two fanbases who care WAY more about basketball than football. Cons – BBVA Compass is a bank that did not take federal bailout money (they are “run by conservative Southerners and Spainairds.” I am not making this up.), and both these teams are from major conferences. Good, but not good enough to take this year’s crown. This year’s runner-up:

2. uDrove Humanitarian Bowl – Northern Illinois vs. Fresno State – So many reasons this game is integral to the traditions of the bowl season… played on Saturday, December 18th when people are either out shopping last minute or at holiday parties; played in Boise, Idaho, where I’m sure many, many fans will be traveling to spend the last weekend before Christmas (I mean, who doesn’t want to make that roadie from Northern Cali or Illinois? Come on, now!); uDrove is a phone application for truckers to help reduce paperwork and keep track of shipping, tracking, compliance… and some other crap that makes no sense to me on their website; I had to look up which conferences these teams play in, and since I accidentally closed the Internets before I wrote this, I can’t even remember which ones they are… and I’m stone sober; and really, do we need other reasons? This bowl used to exist just so they could draw fans for a bowl game involving a 7-5 Boise State team. Now that they’re good enough to get to other bowls, this game has become a bit of a joke. By a bit, I mean, how many people have even heard of this game? Honestly, seeing this game makes me start to understand why the bowl system must be upheld. What would I do without the uDrove Humanitarian Bowl? I know! Wait with undying anticipation for…

1. GoDaddy.com Bowl – Miami (OH) vs. Middle Tennessee State – The Ghost of the GMAC Bowl lives!!! 9-4 MAC Champion vs… hang on… Sun Belt, uhhhh, team 6-6 Middle Tennessee State! Played in Mobile, Alabama on Thursday, January 6th, when the residents of Miami, OH and wherever Middle Tennessee State is (are they really D-I? Can we verify this?) flood Mobile to party in the streets during the first full work week back in 2011! The Bowl Tradition LIVES!!!!!

I mean, seriously? Do I need to go on? I’m pretty sure that this “bowl”, which we give the quotes to since it’s named after a sponsor that seems to change every year, has tie-ins to the MAC and Sun Belt, which pretty much guarantees it the top spot on this list until we either get three major conference teams to go undefeated or we get two non-BCS schools to go undefeated with one of them left out of the BCS. Then, the BCS championship would have a shot. Until then, a bowl named for a sponsor, played in the middle of the week after New Year’s Day, in Alabama where none of the schools reside, is damn near unbeatable.

I think we get the point here, and I’m pretty tired of stating the obvious. If the NCAA really wants to highlight the integrity of the bowl system, 6-6 teams out of the Sun Belt shouldn’t be playing in bowls. Michigan should not be playing on New Year’s Day. And there shouldn’t be 35 freaking bowl games. Getting to a bowl nowadays is like getting a participation ribbon when you’re 6 years old.

Alright, folks, this is about it, other than the NFL picks, til New Year’s. I hope you all have a safe, happy, and joyous holiday season. Comments and suggestions here on the blog or my email. Look for the Sports New Year’s Resolutions and Sports Investment posts early in ‘011, as well as the Logical Betting NFL Playoff Predictions. Until then, thanks for reading, and hasta.