NFL Picks and a new LB character

Coming...to...you...LIVE from South Jersey (boring) with Major Mojo and his fam on hand for Army/Navy weekend, his pop here repping the D, and our newest member of the Logical Betting Cast of Characters, (sorry, side note... Mojo just took my beer. What the f**k?)... anyways, our newest member of the Logical Betting Cast of Characters, Elf. Mojo just came up with that, good for him. On to Elf's bio:

Elf is the proud father of two of the finest young gentleman in South Jersey. He, along with yours truly, is the co-founder of the awesomest boys' night ever created. His wife declares him the greatest husband ever, and I concur. He really is. Don't let your wife near him, or you're f***ed. Just saying. He's a damn solid Philly sports fan, and one who actually admits the Eagles deserve to lose games sometimes. Yes, folks, they exist.

Onto the picks. We're unofficially sponsored by my beer fridge, which is supplying the guts for this week's lines. The locks are 11-1, with my Bears just missing last week and failing to cover the 5. Otherwise, bet my locks if you dare. Mojo and Elf guest spot this week, and away we go.

Green Bay (-7) at Detroit - A lot of people like the Lions in this, for some reason. I'm taking the Pack. Elf - "I still feel like Green Bay isn't that good. I got Detroit." Mojo - "Detroit wins by 4." It should be noted that Mojo has never picked against the Lions in his life. It should also be noted that if the Lions fail to win another game this year, they will have won a total of 44 the entire decade. Stop ripping my Bears off the blog, Mojo.

Jags (-4) vs. Oakland - Line is short, but I'm riding the Jags. Elf - "What time's the game? (One, dude). Definitely Jags. West Coast coming East for a 1 o'clock." Mojo - "I will go with Oakland. (Why?) I just don't think Jax is going to take control of that game." Right.

I just suggested that we get Mojo's dad to follow my blog. Mojo, "That might be tough, considering we just explained what blogging was 30 minutes ago." Good point. Also, we decided to watch the Heat/Warriors game over Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, "because hopefully LeBron will die." That was my and Mojo's take. Literally. Back to picks. After another beer.

Steelers (-8.5) vs. Cincy - Call this LB Lock #1. Elf - "Steelers. I feel like they haven't played a blowout game in awhile, though. The Bengals are just that bad." Mojo - "Steelers." This is a Lock, kids, chalk it up.

Carolina (+7.5) vs. Atlanta - Line seems short. No way I would bet this game. Elf - "Atlanta, still need home field throughout, and they're way better at home." Gulp. Mojo - "Is there something I should know about this game? (No.) Atlanta. (All you have to say?) Yep. Atlanta." Quiet tonight. He needs Tecmo Bowl to talk more.

Browns (+1) at Buffalo - Browns are good. They win by 10. No, I'm not locking that. Elf - "(not paying attention). Who? Buffalo or in Toronto? Cleveland." Mojo - "Cleveland. Anyone else in Buffalo this week, then Buffalo. Hold on, Delhomme is starting? I'll take Buffalo. Snowing, right?" He's really all about the snow on this... he's still talking about it... and how he used to live in Carolina and hates snow... ut, Wade went down, he's distracted now, we can move on.

Tampa Bay (-2) at Washington - Lock #2. Love, love, love the Bucs. Elf - "(not paying attention...skipping him)." Mojo - "Tampa. Washington stinks." Bet this, kids, ride the Bucs.

Giants (-3) at Minnesota - It doesn't matter, Minnesota can't stop that pass rush. Elf - "Giants. Favre starts, then leaves." Mojo - "Vikings if Favre starts." Mojo, you know it's not 1998, right? "Don't care." Elf just said he wants the Giants to lose, so he knows they'll win. Hmmmm... that was pushing lock material, but we'll leave this be.

Saints (-9) vs. Rams - I don't pick against the Saints at home. Elf - "I don't know...I'll give the 9, give me the Saints. They'll win, I don't know about the 9, though." Mojo - "I don't care who they're playing, I got the Saints. (told it was the Rams) Good." Elf just pointed out that we know none of the Golden State starters, especially with Steph Curry out of this game. Chris Mullin just got a shout out. I love doing these picks live and buzzed, it's so much more fun.

49ers (-5.5) vs. Seattle - Line seems high, give the points, LB readers. Elf - "I know absolutely nothing about Seattle. Elf - "I'll take the Niners, only because who knows how bad Seattle really is." Mojo - "In the spirit of cheering for Golden State, I'll take the Niners."

Chargers (-7) vs. KC - Line seems high, give the points, LB readers. No, I did not copy/paste that. Mojo (gets to go first this time cause Elf is checking on his gentlemen sleeping under the Christmas tree in the other room) - "Love the Chargers, they'll bounce back." Elf - "Chargers, Cassel's probably not playing." Good point. That's a near lock, too... hmmm... nahhh. Can't bet Chargers games, too big an enigma.

We just cheered a Warriors dunk, "good job, guy whose name we don't know!" I love the NBA. I'm (probably not) going to miss it next year when they lock out. By the way, Elf makes an awesome Buffalo Chicken dip. Just throwing that out there.

Dolphins (+5) vs. Jets - The Jets are a fraud. I think they win, but don't cover. Elf - "Jets. (that was confident, anything more?) I think they're pissed off that a** beating on Monday night. And they're at home." Mojo - "Jets, they bounce back."

Broncos (-4) at Arizona - Arizona is starting a QB I have never heard of, and I couldn't remember his name when Mojo asked. I saw it on the bottom line, that's all I got. Elf - "Denver is giving points? Wow. I'll take them. That's disgusting state of affair when they are giving points." Mojo - "Denver, new coach is gonna be beginners luck."

Somehow, we just got on a debate that 1. Anfernee Hardaway's mom named him "Anfernee" because she couldn't spell "Anthony." Elf is currently Googling. 2. Jason Garrett was throwing games to get the Cowboys gig. No way, Elf. He's already earning his spot on the Cast. Good work.

Bears (+3) vs. Pats - Bears outright. This is a huge Bears line. This line should be 7. Mojo - "Pats all the way." He's taking the bet. Elf - "Bears. Unfortunately, I think they're gonna win." Mojo is still talking Pats s**t.

Elf just found out that Penny Hardaway got his nickname from his grandmother calling him "pretty" with a Southern drawl, thus sounding like, "Penny." He is firm in his "Anfernee/Anthony" belief now. Gotta admit, that's tough to argue.

Eagles (-3.5) at Dallas - Dallas defense stinks, Vick is gonna be huge this week. Elf - "Birds. Need to win it, and they will." Mojo - "Eagles. I need Vick to keep winning my fantasy games." He doesn't care that my team was better on points and missed the playoffs, for the record.

Texans (+3) vs. Ravens - Short line, no other explanations. The boys both agree on that, we all think the line should be 6 and the Ravens haven't blown anyone out.

Alright, so locks this week are Steelers -8.5 vs. Cincy and Tampa -2 at Washington. The boys, beer-infused, agree. Mojo says he would call the Eagles a lock, Elf disagrees, and so do I. If you want to bet the Cowboys against Mojo, email me and I'll arrange it for you. Until then... HASTA.