The Phillies Miss the Playoffs! Maybe...

We have EXCLUSIVE, breaking news here at Logical Betting!  You heard it here first, before ESPN, before Fox Sports, before… I hate when people brag about stuff like that.  Let's just get to it.  The 2011 Philadelphia Phillies HAVE NOT, we repeat, HAVE NOT YET won the 2011 National League Pennant!*

They haven't won yet, I swear!



162 games first, sir.  But thanks!



I know, shocking right? They’re actually going to make every single National League team play 162 games this year. Good for fantasy leagues everywhere.  Wait… what’s this? We have another BREAKING EXCLUSIVE!!! Wow, folks, what a day here at Logical Betting!

Baseball = 9 players.  Golf = 1.

Starting pitching is NOT the only component of a baseball team!

If you read any baseball previews (other than this one), you would think the NLCS was an afterthought this year. So instead of giving you the stereotypical, long winded baseball preview where the writer correctly picks all the sleeper teams and both Cy Young winners, I’m just going to tell you why the Phillies won’t win the National League this year.**

1. I was reading the MLB rulebook, researching this post, and found the following: the team that scores the most runs at the end of 9 innings is declared the winner. Yes, the Phillies led the NL in runs last year. Yes, despite beliefs to the contrary, they actually hit better in the 2nd half of 2010. Yes, it is now 2011. No, they do not have a 5 hitter. No, they do not have a right fielder. Yes, some of their guys are getting older and… wait for the foreshadowing… injured.

In the room and coming for you.

2. No bullpen. None. Randomly asked a die hard Phils fan friend, who, in response to my bullpen point, noted they had Lidge, “when Lidge comes into a game in the 9th, and you’re up 2 runs, do you feel comfortable?” They looked down, looking very sad, and said in shame, “no.” Exactly. You might be up 3-1 in the 8th after a R2C2 gem but it don’t matter if your bullpen can’t hold that lead. Ask Roy Halladay and his 22-10 record that should have been 26-5. I know people who scream in terror when JC Romero comes in a game. Not a joke. It’s the little talked about, elephant in the room when it comes to this team. 

Dangerous.  Wear protective gear.

3. Injuries. Baseball is a total grind, so minor injuries, even like this one add up. (Sigh...) The following players have all been hurt for the Phils in the last 8 months: Chase Utley, Brad Lidge, Placido Polanco, Roy Oswalt (all current, though playing in some cases), JC Romero (sucks anyways), Ryan Howard, Shane Victorino, and Jimmy Rollins. That’s without using the Google. Those guys are good players. When they’re not on the field, it sucks for them. See the common sense here, folks?

4. Pressure. If they don’t win it all, then this season is a failure. Period. Side note, the over/under for Phils wins in Vegas is only like 94.5. Doesn’t that seem a few wins low? Doesn’t that seem like they want you to bet the over?  Just sayin'.

5. Big 4 or Big 3.5? As alluded to in these annals, sometimes these monster tandems aren’t as monster as they seem. Is Roy Oswalt maybe, just maybe, the odd man out here? Think about the pressure thing… Hamels? World Series MVP. Lee? Pitched in the last two World Series. Halladay? Pitched a playoff no-hitter, and is pretty much the iciest pitcher this side of Mariano Rivera. A herd of elephants could come charging at him and he wouldn’t flinch. Oswalt? Pitched in one World Series. 6 innings, 8 hits, 5 walks, 5 runs. Actually impressive he only gave up 5 with that line. But isn’t it at least possible that Roy Oswalt is the Chris Bosh of the Phils rotation?

Roy, Chris.  Nice to meet you!



Chris, this is Roy.



Side Note – notice how Chris Bosh’s numbers got way better right after my post? Is it possible that Chris Bosh reads and follows Logical Betting???

Here’s how the Phils could miss the playoffs: Atlanta wins NL East, L.A. Dodgers win the West, Cincy wins the Central, Rockies take advantage of weak completion and win Wild Card. Entire city of Philadelphia holds hands in brotherhood and drinks on South Street until January 19th. It won’t happen, though, and the reason is simple, of course: how many three game series are you going to win against Oswalt, Hamels, and Blanton? Answer? Not very many. Even if the Phils only score 3 a game and their bullpen blows. So here’s what will happen:

I'm a homer.

AL Division Winners – Red Sox, Tigers, Rangers. Wild Card – Twins. Red Sox over Twins, Rangers over Tigers, Red Sox over Rangers.

NL Division Winners – Phillies, Reds, Rockies. Wild Card – Dodgers. Phillies over Dodgers, Rockies over Reds, Phillies over Rockies.

AL Cy Young – Justin Verlander, MVP – Adrian Gonzalez

NL Cy Young – Roy Halladay, MVP – Carlos Gonzalez (I like Gonzalezes)


What, you want to know who’s going to win it all? I told you this wasn’t a stereotypical preview. Shouldn’t I make you wait til the Fall? Alright, fine, but don’t blame me for ruining the World Series for you.

7 game classic.  Champs, yo.

Contact Logical Betting at logicalbetting@gmail.com and twitter.com/logicalbetting.

*But they will.  Go back and read, you're cheating, silly.

**Didn't you read the other *?  Stop reading these and read the funniness above!