Waiting?

Wrong!!!

While anxiously awaiting blood test results from my liver after celebrating Army's epic win over Navy last month, I finished reading an interesting book by Chuck Klosterman, But What if We're Wrong?  The book explores the idea that what we believe to be true now, may in fact be entirely false.  It's a fascinating read, and I later found out a few of my friends had read it and felt the same way.

This book got me thinking in a few different ways, most notably about what keeps people from making changes.  We here at LB are huge proponents of calculated risks and overcoming fears in order to maximize our life's experiences.  Despite our championing New Year's Resolutions last year and me and the wife's personal experience having used one a few year's back, I'm generally not a huge fan of waiting for New Year's to make changes.  However, I do acknowledge that whatever helps people make positive changes is a good thing.

Our wives are so thoughtful...

What is it about New Year's that makes everyone resolve to making positive changes in their lives?  I know the obvious answer, but if something is so desirable that you want it, why do you need an excuse to do it?  I lost a bunch of weight years ago, and I didn't start at it in January.  (Side note, if you think about it, if you live somewhere where it's cold in the winter, it actually makes no sense to start trying to lose weight in January). Anyways, if you don't like your job, you don't wait til January to start looking.  If you want to start reading more, the library and Amazon are both open year round.  If you want to start bringing your husband breakfast in bed every Sunday, why wait until January to start?

I think people get caught up a lot on the way things "should be" or "have to be."  In my work world, we sometimes call this people "should-ing all over themselves."  Maybe it's a Catholic thing, but it seems like people carry a lot of guilt around.  And as much as I (and not to speak for Mojo, but I think we) have worked to keep guilt out of our daily decisions, this is still no easy task.  Guilt can be a driving force to change, in the right circumstances, but a harbinger of depression in many more.

Let me clarify for a minute... I'm not suggesting that guilt is a "bad" emotion, per se.  What I'm saying is people beat themselves up over things they really don't need to, and do it quite frequently.  For some reason, we seem to be conditioned to accept blame for a lot of things that, quite frankly, are not our own fault... at least not entirely.  Again, I'm not suggesting guilt is bad, since it keeps people from doing a lot of morally awful things.  However, I would argue that, in many cases in regular American life, it may actually prevent more good than evil.

Break through that brick wall, wives

Degression aside.  Back to the whole "change now" thing.  I think people thrive on predictability and control.  Children especially thrive in these environments, which conditions us to want them, especially in cases where our families had either a hell of a lot or no predictability, i.e., wanting to stay in a successful platform or craving any predictability having grown up in chaos.  Change is the opposite of comfort, control, and predictability.  In it's essence, it creates some mild form of the unknown.  So what is it that keeps us from that unknown, where the real positive, life altering changes can occur?

Fear.  That's it.  Fear.  The cliched "fear of the unknown."  It's kinda funny how often you see it pop up.  I mean, let's be clear, it's a very healthy emotion in a lot of cases, e.g., let's not pet the fire-breathing dragon.  But what about the times people may suggest a new restaurant?  Ever notice how often that gets some resistance?  People hesitate to commit to real change out of fear of failure.  Cliched again, it's quite often easier to not try because then you haven't failed.  If you vow to lose weight, and it doesn't happen, you've "failed."  If you want to embark on a new career or change jobs, and you don't get it after the interview, then you've "failed."

The trick here is to change that thought from "failed" to "haven't succeeded yet."  My boy J.B. deserves a lot of credit here... he's been trying to switch jobs for a long time.  He's had some great interviews, great opportunities, and fallen short (often the 2nd person in line) quite a few times over the past year or so.  Yet every time I talk to him, he's still out there interviewing, tweaking the resume, pushing contacts, etc.  He sometimes sounds disappointed, but never has he even come close to sounding defeated.  You can hear in his voice that it's just a matter of time.  His persistence is literally unbreakable.

Last one, I swear

So we implore you to remain persistent, dear friends, and never give up on the changes you want (Side note, the 11+ minutes of that speech is well worth the listen.  I might have it memorized by now).  New Year's is a good reason to move towards your goals and dreams, and so are April 11th, June 29th, September 2nd, and November 18th.  Whether it's to lose weight or convince your wife that one more tattoo is a good idea, stick with your goals.  If you're hesitating, just remember, you haven't failed until you stop trying.  Don't quit.  Adjust your strategies.  Come up with new plans and ideas.  Be open to and take suggestions from others.  Hell, Mojo and I have been working on spousal approval of one more tattoo for about 3 years now (actually, I think it may be even longer...), and just the other week we came up with a new strategy (be ready, wives!).  We only get to do this whole life thing once.  Don't want to miss out.

Mojo's last one, he swears

We really do have a great plan to get new tattoos... and it assuredly will fall flat on its face,,. Maybe. The wives are steadfastly united on this one.  J.B. will regail us with a discussion at least mildly related to our hockey trip to the D and Ann Arbor in a couple of weeks.  As always, if you have anything you want us to write about or would like to test your writing skills and post something yourself, the floor will be yours.  I'll handle editing, pics, etc. for you as a thank you.  Remember, Mojo is a published author so writing for LB is clearly the way to life success.  You can email or text us if you know us, or tweet us here with your suggestions.  Mr. David Bowie, RIP, will play us out this week.  Hasta.