Positive Opposites and the Emotional Hedge

BGE doesn't know, either (not really him)

Before we start, I want to thank everyone who has asked about Mojo and his family over the past few months.  They are doing well and thoroughly enjoying their time in Europe.  As I write, Mrs. Mojo is on a girls' weekend that includes stops in parts of Belgium and Germany.  The kiddos are well adjusted and I'm happy to say I haven't had to go rescue BGE... yet.

Full disclosure... I bet on the Army/Navy moneyline.  You would assume that I bet on Army, but you might assume wrong.  I also bet on the Penn State/Michigan and Ohio State/Michigan moneylines.  Against Michigan.  Why?  We are calling it the "emotional hedge."  It comes from the idea of finding the positive opposite in what appears to be a negative situation.  While you try and figure out who I bet on, allow me to explain the concept.

Positive opposite is a term we use in my field when teaching parenting - don't see what the child is doing wrong, see what they are doing right, then praise it.  Similar concept in life.  It's getting too cold for me to go on long runs in the mornings before the wife heads off to school.  On the plus side, I can do more strength and interval work in the gym, which brings down my 5K times.  The kiddos get up fairly early every morning, even on weekends.  On the plus side, I'm writing this before 8am and it frees up my evenings when the kiddos are asleep.  Get it?  Good!

When life hands you lemons... add vodka

In theory, quite simple, along the lines of the cliche "when life hands you lemons" thing.  In practice, this is a challenge, especially when the "lemons" seem to be piling up.  It often takes a purposeful effort to find the positive opposites in life's more challenging moments.  Solitude and reflection can be a helpful tool (everyone right now should buy a copy of Lead Yourself First to find out why this is a great habit.  Hi, Mike!).  Case in point... ARG managed to come down with strep throat on the ride back from Michigan this summer.  Thankfully, Waze got us around an accident on the Schuylkill that got us home in time to get her to urgent care so she felt much better the next day.

Sometimes we need to focus more on the positive opposites that occur over a period of time.  Let's say it's been a rough few weeks, months, or even a year.  Reflecting back on the good things that happened helps us refocus on the moments that made us smile - the moments we are much more likely to remember a year or 5 years from now.  Those positive moments are a window into what we value most, whereas those moments that are dragging us down tend to really not matter much in the long run.

In "holy crap you can't make this up" irony, as I was getting the link for this video for the post, LB Jr., who yesterday came down with a nasty cold, heard the song and immediately ran into the kitchen for an impromptu dance party.  I tried to get video to share, but he was too insistent I keep dancing.  He found the positive opposite... feels like crap, but had the energy to dance.  He's back to orange juice and Loud House now.

Courage

Anyways, I think you're getting my point.  So much of life is how we choose to perceive it.  There is a lot of research coming out about the power of thought on what humans can accomplish.  I use the example of Aron Ralston, the true story behind the 127 Hours movie, as the prime example when teaching the concept to my interns.  He didn't cut his arm off because he was physically strong.  That was 99% mental.  No way he does that without the will to live.  The coolest part is that we control our perceptions.  We can see what we want to see.  We choose to surround ourselves with people, objects, etc. that can support or drag down ourselves and our families.  Therefore, we have the power to change them.  Sometimes it's a matter of finding the courage to do it.

One last example.  I said in our long ago last post, it probably wouldn't hit me that Mojo is in Belgium until Army/Navy time.  In the recent weeks, I have noticed more that he's not in the States.  We've talked a couple times recently, and it's crazy how many random topics we have ended up on.  You know what stuck out to me in our conversations?  The family is having an amazing experience, their home looks great, the kiddos are laughing and funny.  BGE is getting big, ARG and C were talking on the phone on Thanksgiving.  At some point, we will see each other in Europe.  These are my positive opposites.  When we said "see you later" this summer, I had to hold back tears a bit.  Determined to stay strong for him, though I think he was ready to roll by that time.  But when I thought back on the trip this summer, that was like the 12th memory that came up for me.  I had to think about it to bring it up.

Bringing the CIC Trophy home

I'm sad he won't be here when Army beats Navy this weekend, but in the positive opposites... JB will be there to watch the loss (silly squid), and 2 of my friends get to go for the first time, and they are beyond fired up for it.  Plus, I've given Mojo the freedom to demand a Facebook live at any point during the game, which could get very... well, let's say I'm hoping the wife doesn't save the footage for any future divorce proceedings.  And we already started planning for 2020 in Philly, e.g., full family reunions, bringing the kids, etc.

So back to the big question... who did I bet on?  Did I set up the "emotional hedge" in case of a loss?  Last year, I was 99.9% sure Army was going to win.  This year, I am damn confident, like 75% sure they are going to win.  They have the better QB, a world of confidence with an 8-3 record this year, and no more pressure to end that losing streak.  This team knows how to win this game, even coming back to win it last year.  One may argue lack of motivation now.  I say, chance to win the Commander in Chief trophy for the first time since 1996, or as Mojo put it, since before he was even in the Army.  I love Army in this game.  Therefore, by my logic, I should absolutely lay cash on Navy.  Hell, if the Supreme Court does the right thing, I might not have to jump through hoops to get paid out.

ARE YOU SERIOUS I WOULD NEVER BET ON FREAKING NAVY NO WAY IN HELL NEVER EVER EVER EVER!!!  Didn't you see the part where I'm taking 2 of my friends who have never been?  Just going to the game is a positive opposite!  Army brings home the CIC trophy and starts a streak of its own.  I'm sensing OT this year.  Navy gets OT possession first, kicks a field goal.  Army beats them with a touchdown by the fullback from 9 yards out.  Army 23, Navy 20 in OT.

Thank you one more time for everyone who continues to ask how Mojo and family are doing.  It's pretty cool to hear how you all seem to know them on some level from reading us here and your genuine interest in hearing about my life growing up in Michigan.  It was awesome to be able to bring a few Philly friends back to Detroit last winter to share my hometown with them.  JB and I have plans for a Pearl Jam blog.  Maybe we will kick that around during the tailgate this weekend.  But it's probably gonna be awhile.  On that note, let's have Pearl Jam send you out.  Happy Holidays and Happy New Year from ours to yours.  Hasta.